Lazy Sunday Afternoon

There's no one to hear me, there's nothing to say, and no one can stop me from feeling this way...
That's from Lazy Sunday by Small Faces - who seemed to be rather proud that they had nothing to do in the afternoon other than sit on the lawn being slobbish and cockney. Find the song (and kinda weird video for it) here.

I myself absolutely detest the afternoon. Worst part of the day in fact. The sun lowers and sears your retinas out so you pull down the blinds but the obnoxious sun still shines through in that incredibly depressing "yeah its afternoon bitches" sort of way while it giggles with pleasure at how annoyed I am that it is in fact "after noon". Sorry about my love for "run on sentences" by the way, I can never help myself.

I can't really explain why it annoys me so much except that it for some reason is always very boring. More boring than say...60 Minutes special on neighbourhood predators? Or even a Degrassi episode centred on L.D. (the most boring girl on Degrassi Street...I bet she loves afternoons). It's that time of day where if you have a friend over you have lots of awkward silences in between a conversation that is typically thus: "Wadda you wanna do?" "Dunno, wadda you wanna do?" "I wanna do whatever you wanna do" and so forth. You probably end up playing a "no one cares" game of Trivial Pursuit or watching one of those horrible afternoon movies on Channel 7 like "Working Girl"(shuddddder) and sitting on the carpet on the floor whilst wishing there was something better in the fridge.
I think I would rather die.

There's also that nasty "nostalgia" business that I can't really escape once it ticks passed 12pm. I can't help but remember primary school holidays when Nanna would make me eat fruit while she and Pop watched the ABC news (which is the most boring news ever, the theme for it still haunts me in my sleep) and no cartoons were on. Or when I would sit in my bedroom and play with my paper dolls and get annoyed really easily by their lack of ability to stand upright. Or worse...on Saturdays after I had eaten macaroni for lunch and Mum would go for an "afternoon nap". Afternoon naps are gross blergh. People only nap in the afternoons because there's nothing better do to. Which is my point exactly.

Noon is alright though. If you are at school you know that it's nearly fourth period and you can go have lunch soon. If you are at home you can have lunch early and watch Doctor Phil or have it a little later and watch Oprah. Or eat really slowly and watch both. Whatever.
Once it’s after noon however, it is afternoon. Which is pretty horrible. A sudden rush of boredom and a hot, sticky and "fat" feeling washes over you and you have a sudden urge to not do anything interesting. I suppose I could look for more music (which, if you currently are doing please check out Magic Kids album 'Memphis'...it's pretty good) or watch a movie or do jumping jacks or something but the evil afternoon sun forces me to look at crap on eBay and think about how fat I'm getting or stalk people on facebook out of spite.

It kills me it really does. I have to face it every single day. I hate it with a vengeance. I always look like crap in the afternoon but the afternoon makes it crapper. I have to walk home from work or school in the afternoon and feel like crap. Afternoons are crap in every single manner of the word except for Small Faces. They make afternoons sound sort of decent. Maybe they are in England after all it's not supposed to be sunny there. Maybe they just suck in Australia? Or maybe they just suck for me?

Leave a comment and tell me what your afternoons are like. And if you read this because it's afternoon and your bored shitless, I hope reading this made you reconsider your mood to being simply "bored" by omitting the "shitless".
Good afternoon (there ain't no such thing).